Heard This Today…


My nephew asked my sister-in-law “How old are you?”

She responded with “39”

He asked her “Is this the first time being 39?”

She told him “Yes”

“Well,” he continued “What number are you going to be next?”

She informed him that she will be 40 next and he said “40!  Woah… I counted to that once…”

While visiting the East Longmeadow Library the Librarian told me that a little boy named Ryan will be attending the show.  He told the librarians earlier:

“He is Big Ryan and I am Little Ryan – but when I turn 4 on my birthday there will be 2 Big Ryans!”

A child asked me to give him a high five.  I obliged.  He then told his friends in line with him that he got a high five from me.  His friend said “Dude!  Never wash that hand again!”.  He didn’t say it in a sarcastic way – he said it in a “Just met Magnum P.I. and he shook my hand” sort of way.  I was honored.

One of the things I ask to the trick-or-treaters when they come up to my door is “What is your favorite scary movie”  How much candy they get depends on how much I like the answer.  If the answer is Saw or any of the remakes as of late – they get 1 piece – but if they say a classic like Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Silver Bullet – they get a handful!

Well, one little girl answered “Diary of a Wimpy Kid”

I said “That’s not a scary movie!”

She responded back with “Have you ever been to middle school?  THAT’S scary!”

She recieved two handfuls of candy!

As I was leaving my show today one of the little girls yelled out “Happy Halloween!” and then quickly after that “Happy Birthday!”  The little boy beside her informed her that it was not my birthday and so she added “Remember that for your birthday, okay Big Ryan?”

Don’t worry – I’ll remember 😉

 

Yup – I am officially old.  As I told my stories the other night I mentioned a stereo that had 2 tape decks and a CD player – to which a couple of boys in the front said:

Boy1: “What’s a tape deck?

Boy 2: “What’s a CD player?”

Today, during the Popsicle Song – where the children can give me a “favorite” or “crazy” flavor to add into the song – one of the boys in the audience said “H1 N1″  Yup – you guessed it… the Swine Flu.  Swine Flu Popsicle, anyone?

 

Well, simply put, and just in time for Father’s Day, after my show today a little girl came up to me and said:

“You’re funnier than my Dad!”

 

I was in a school today and, as I was setting up for my show, I heard two children talking at a table littered with musical instruments.  This is what they said:

Kid 1: “Play me a song”

Kid 2: (Grabbing the Xylophone) “Alright, but hold on – I’m a bit rusty” 

 

I knew I was in for trouble when I asked the question – but this is what happened today…

Today, I was in a class where one of the little girls asked how old I was when I started Big Ryan’s Tall Tales.  I said “Well, let me ask you this: How old do you think I am now?”

First answer: 63 (Ouch!)

Next answer: 50 (Wow…)

Next answer: 29 (My new best friend)

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