This is a barn spider. It’s huge and it’s right outside my kitchen window. I wanted to destroy it’s web and relocate this humongous arachnid - but after my search on the interweb revealed that this is the same kind of spider that Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web is based on… well, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I am going to wait until morning - if the web spells out “Big Ryan” then it can stay - otherwise this little non-bug is out of here!